i am switching to wordpress. it's for a new start cos i realised some one do actually read my post. i dont know t b happy or what.

i'll jus look away, when i see those coming again. i'm already giving up, but u r holding on. i dont know for what, i feel that it's tiring. but i dont want t give up a chance when u'r, the one now, tryin t salvage. i dont know. i thot i can do it. i'm always scoldin others for unable t do it, but i dont do whatever i do preach. i'm not fit t be anyone's fren.

i'm trying start a new life again, this is me, an escapee, yet again. frens reshafering.

jazzed it up at 12:48:00 PM.
12:48:00 PM

u arsehole, sayin those sweet things seems nth t u. if u want t play, i aint in e mood t play already. continue your sweet stuffs t other girls, dont think i dont know what u r doin, especially when u'v got a gf. fcukling! i'v wasted so much time n tears already.
i cant prbly stop thinking str away, but i'll try my best.
get lost.

jazzed it up at 4:30:00 AM.
4:30:00 AM

oh yea, i've gotten e present at last min. ha. i bought e present, shijia paid for the encravings[is that e right spelling?], n mel paid for that 1 tiney whinesy card. yuppps.
birthday dinner prepared by my mom for her "godson".
tmor's his birthday, n he was actually testin me, seeing whether i can rember his bday. **faints..
hahas.. well, i was thinkin thru'out the whole week, t ask him out, or pretend that i'v forgotten his bday.

anyways, it was really paiseh for me ytd. cos i parked my car at some waitin area ytd, i needed e atm machine next t it, so when i got down, e sercurity guard shoo-ed me away, k la, was my fault. but so paiseh, no face already. =(
n i drank alittle last night, was high but not drunk, so i was kinda giggly. then ken called n i rembred talkin t him, but couldn rembr e content. he said i was giggling all e way. so i guess i was a scene last night la. hahas..
no image already!!

jazzed it up at 4:30:00 PM.
4:30:00 PM

=) i've rebonded my hair today, sponsored.
HA! HA! HA! i'm so so so blessed!

=( my fringe's too str n short.

hahas.. okie, project life is no nice, i need t wake up early everyday.
the timing is actually alrights, but its the staring at e comp screen that's killing me n my eyes.
cos if i stare too long, i'll tend t grow tired.
thus making me feel tired everyday afr project. i dont like the feeling, making me smile n laugh less often.
n i dont like project, cos i've no one t lunch with me. n no cheese sausages, food junction's close too.
but anyways, thanks to jessica koh ming li and chew tian kean for lunching with me.
=)
hais.. but i feel so restricted working at that lab. cos.. hais.. jess, u know why la.

anyways, MY FRINGE!! **sobs!

jazzed it up at 9:40:00 PM.
9:40:00 PM

I HATE IT SO MUCH WHEN I SEE MR KOKYUANYIK!!!
HE NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME ANGRY!!
CRAZY FELLA!! n most of the time, ur insensitive comments could really get on my nerves.

anyways!!! exams are over!!! oOh lala lala!!
but today's e start of my project. agrrr!!
i was sleepin in e lab. hahas.. cos my phone went low batt on me. n my supervisor's on reservice. so i had nth t do. hahas.. ya.
hmmm... actually quite alot happened e past days, happy sad tears. alot. but too lazy t list them all out.
n yuppps.. i wont b online too often, cos my laptop's down. i'm currently MR KYY's laptop, i'm helpin him t care for his wife while he's off t camp.
hais. i miss felicia lee yun wei. darling, can we make our date on 17th?

oh, i'm loving the movie, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, the one with louis n rene acting in it.

jazzed it up at 8:48:00 PM.
8:48:00 PM

i absolutely hated it when i plan my day, then sth crops up n i need t cancel all. i mean re-adjusting is ok. but if i hav t do that sth, then cancelling all others, resulting in havin the rest of the day free, its irritating.
anyways, someone said me dumb that day. hmph.
n kokyuanyik said i aint creative when i'm gonna make pizza. heys, the last time, i cheated by buyin ready-made skin, this time round, i'm gonna use my famous pizza making skills hor!!
hmph.
ciao.

jazzed it up at 12:45:00 PM.
12:45:00 PM

happy happy chinese new year!!!!!!!!!

=) i've caught 2 more movies, epic n ghost rider.
ytd i slept at my aunt's place for only, i think 2 hrs, cos i was totally tired out by that driving ard.
n guess what?!?! my cousins took pics of me sleepin. -.-".. later e pics go circulating around e family. HOW!!!
no nice no nice. no image no image. hahahs..
oh, then i cried ytd. cos someone grind against my arm. now i remember why we officially broke up. cos i couldnt tolerate his violence, t him, it was jus fun. agrrr!!! then i jus ran into e toilet t cry, my face was totally red, my cousin thot i was jus laughin, but i was actually really crying.

anyways, we'r waitin at home for my dad's frens t visit. this yr's diff, we arent gonna b e one goin visitin. hahas.. ciao.

jazzed it up at 2:53:00 PM.
2:53:00 PM

lets see..
didn manage t go out with felicia that day, i went out with jialu.
=) thanks for accompanyin me that day jialu.
that day was alright till i got a call.

anyways, i'm so glad t meet up with sheralyn ytd. hahas.. i think i was practically bombaring her with many many questions. its was nice. nice.
=)
alrights. till later!

jazzed it up at 5:34:00 PM.
5:34:00 PM

yo yo check it out!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

hmmm... actually i dont feel like goin today, but since dearest best friend felicia called for dinner, alrights then. shouldn spoil my day cos of that bastard rights?

hmmm... anyways, i was giving my cousin tuition that day, i realised my english is horrible, its getting worse than it already is.
OH NO!!!!

okies la, baking baking time. ciao!

jazzed it up at 2:30:00 PM.
2:30:00 PM

The Plot:

The story revolves around drug trafficking with Andy Lau as the major heroin dealer, grooming his successor, Daniel Wu, to take over the business. The film, finances by England, US, China, Hong Kong and Singapore is produced by Peter Chan.

i just caught this movie's premiere last night at vivo. it was such a last minute thing that when my parents picked me up, i didn have the time t return home t change at all!! i wore tattered jeans n brikens. blah! i was tryin t get t my seat asap, n outta my seat asap t e car, without tryin t spot anyone or getting spotted. i mean, its kinda disrespectful for the artistes.

**scowls

thr was that quite thin Daniel Wu, so black( dark i mean) Louis Koo. i also saw afew mediacorp artistes. hmmm... its a NC-16 film. i could understand y. i cried thru-out that movie. it was gruesome( to me), n sad.

anyways anyways, its kinda good t have someone working at nokia. hahas.. now my sis's tryin t get jolin's concert tickets. hahas!!

nights!

jazzed it up at 4:58:00 AM.
4:58:00 AM

at last, yuan pass me my christmas present. =) thank you.

anyways, anyways.. kokyuanyik u better keep ur promise, no more poking and no more disturbing me when i'm tryin t sleep or when i'm sleeping. seriously, i almost cried that day.

n so n so, i'm officially free on valentine's day. yupps. hahas.. nvm ba, i think i need t get used t this fact. n sorry t all for keeping my relationship a secret, cos i didn want t say til it was official. anyways, its over, that's e point.

hmmm... ytd was fun, badminton was nice, e running.. whoa.. i'm an old lady, so easily tired. hahas..

alrights.. i'm kinda oblivious t my surrounding these days, i'm sorry t all if im rude t u, or when my tone wasnt e right one when answerin o talkin t u guys. sorry for my behaviour.

till laters!

jazzed it up at 12:01:00 AM.
12:01:00 AM

i'm like pushing myself totally into the books t shut myself from e world.
i dont wanna think about of those.
i'm so upset abt everything, so its like when i dont understand whatever i'm trying t study, it jus pushes me close t tears.

i'm so physically and mentally drained. i dont want t lose t those bad, especially t the bastard.

but i cant sleep, i'll just get those nightmares once again.

jazzed it up at 2:04:00 AM.
2:04:00 AM

i could never understand him, thou we'v known each other for practically most our lives.
thot t give it a try. but ve been hurt, n e excuses he gave were way beyond dumb. so funny that they could make me cry buckets. no more chances, no more. stay away. this time round, i really couldn face you. cos i no longer would like t see ur face. ever! spamming aint gonna do anything but only t make me dislike u further. think further before u do anything. good luck.

i'm gonna back t sleep.

jazzed it up at 1:45:00 PM.
1:45:00 PM

hello hello!
i am bored bored bored now!!

supposed t be studyin. but nvm.

anyways. i'm updating a post for the sake of updating due t people sayin that i aint doin so already. aint feeling great. simply whatever, dont ask why.

bye bye!!

jazzed it up at 8:31:00 PM.
8:31:00 PM

blogger is being sucha major bitch. i'm telling ya, if they'r still giving me troubles, i'm so gonna switch t xanga, wordpress, or livejournal. hmph.
but i'm stayin here, for now at least.

anyways.. HOOBASTANKS! hahas.. i'm loving it, not for them, but for evangeline tay!! loves loves.. hahas.. she didn go with us. she had t go backstage, n also t party with hoobastank at e afr-party. hahas.. she's da best LAH! she wore flip-flops there. hahas.. "professional", actually we could hav gone backstage too.. but.. er... hahas.. hahas.. any any anyways.. i love her. glad that she's picking things up. so fast. yess.. i'm surprised, but hmmm.. with a new guy, **FROWNS. wells.. jus glad that she got over that cheater. so yupps..

I'M SO GONNA START STUDYING!!

jazzed it up at 11:59:00 PM.
11:59:00 PM

me n jess doing the dishes. hahahs..
future housewives.

jazzed it up at 3:58:00 PM.
3:58:00 PM

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:34 PM):
tell u 1 story..

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:34 PM):
u hear of apple tree story before??

Hoobastank LIVE!!.... lovess.. says (3:36 PM):
what's it abt?

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:36 PM):
thr is a small kid who live without parents..

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:36 PM):
the kid is so so so hungry..

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:37 PM):
got nth to eat at all..

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:37 PM):
jus 1 nite..

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:37 PM):
the kid really cant walk anymore..

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:37 PM):
den jus rest n slp under a big tall tree..

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:38 PM):
when de sun raise..

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:38 PM):
a big apple fall down frm the tree..

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:38 PM):
he gt no choose n get tt aaple n eat..

*iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:38 PM):
the kid still wan summore apple as the kid is still hungry..

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:39 PM):
but the tree is so big..

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:39 PM):
so tall..

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:39 PM):
the kid is really cant reach tt height at all..

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:39 PM):
so the kid jus talk to tt apple tree..

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:39 PM):
"i have no parents"

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:40 PM):
"i have been hungry for mths"

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:40 PM):
"can u give me more more apple to eat?"

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:40 PM):
after for few mins..

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:41 PM):
around 10+++ apple fall straight down to de ground..

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:41 PM):
the kid was so surprise y the tree understand all the words the kid have jus say..

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:41 PM):
when the kid look up..

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:42 PM):
the kid saw alot of monkeys hangin around the apple tree..

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:42 PM):
so wat i tryin to tell u is..

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:42 PM):
those monkeys is ur family..

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:43 PM):
the apple tree is jus a big home to protect u..

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:43 PM):
to feed u..

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:43 PM):
so no matter how playful the monkeys is..

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:43 PM):
they still gt a good heart..

**iLLUSION Of tHAILANd ** says (3:44 PM):
dun bcos jus a small things tt make u wan to leave the big tall protected apple tree..



thank you. =)

jazzed it up at 3:58:00 PM.
3:58:00 PM

last night's was e best! at last, i've paid my sleep-debt. nice.. heex.. refreshing!
oh, i'm so excited for later. gonna meet evan n HOOBASTANK!! loves!
OoOoooh!!!

jazzed it up at 2:32:00 PM.
2:32:00 PM

14th feb. agrrr! i dislike this day so much!!
i was still wonderin who who n who. n i've decided. none. ha.
was actually wondering should i try him, but i jus saw sth which i felt that he was so cheapen-ing himself, a major turn-off. i almost barfed. omg!
anyways,
so gfs! thou we know we always say outing together on this day, but we know ourselves, we'll always end up goin somewher else with own dates. hahas.. but i'm sure i'm sure.. sth goin come up. heex..

jazzed it up at 3:23:00 AM.
3:23:00 AM

having someone workin at nokia's da great one!
=)
free concert tickets, loves. more more n more.
cant say for the privacy or whatever.
heex.. loving it.
anyways, next up would be HOOBASTANK! simply omg! its been like so long long long time ago! oh, i miss them. hahas.. thou i think it wasnt so long time ago.

any any anyways... what's e meaning of, wearing ur heart on your/the sleeves?
someone said that.

jazzed it up at 5:20:00 AM.
5:20:00 AM

i always thot i'm pleased with myself, as in hmmm.. character wise la. ahahs.. many wtfs sounding now. anyways, cutting short of the explanation y i said that. n so i decided t improve on myself. i'll quit arguing with others, no matter who's in e wrong, let each party cool off then try t talk abt e prb. n i'll apologize if i think i'm in wrong, no matter how lose face it would be.
but sometimes when both parties r in e wrong, example, Y and Z.
then only Y apologises, Z goes ard, haughty-ly sayin," see! its Y's fault. ha! apologize cos its all Y's fault only, Y's guilty..." so on n so on..
i know people like Z are kinda damn. but still, i'm gonna apologize if i think i'v at least a little wrong. cos at least i apologize for my part, so i wont have t feel bad. n yes, even it means apologizing t people like Z.
yea! understand? hahas.. BOO!! if u dont. nights.

jazzed it up at 4:12:00 AM.
4:12:00 AM

ytd was short but ha. ermmms.. jus funny, nice warming. =)

anyways, girls girls.. i can only say, sweet talks are really attracting.. but try not, PLEASE TRY NOT TO fall into e traps behind. what bullshit about dreams with a girl with that beautiful rays of light n ur sweet face coming into focus. ha!

anyways, i'm really sick of those darn rumours, i know i've been swearing more often now, i'll try t curb it, if only e past jus stop repeatin itself.

wells.. wells.. jessica, i think althou i really truly treasure the friendship between me n her, she's e 1st fren i made in sch [jess, u know who].
but if she's showing us the attitude stil. i guess i'll hav t let it go then.
we cant explain e happenings t them, they would still think we'r e bad guys, thou all hav been hurt, all are victims in their own ways. but sometimes, some hurt arent visible, some faults arent obvious. jess, i guess i'll jus let her get close t that person, n let her feel so herself, feel whatever we'r feeling so.

n those rumours, hais. just let them b then. what t do? jus sick of them.

jazzed it up at 6:05:00 PM.
6:05:00 PM

"""WHEE! HOW SWEET?! DARN BEST FRIEND FEVER'S BACK FOR VISIT. DARN!"""
Im teething again, guess that's why i aint feeling great these days, i always fever when i'm teething. i'v already got so many teeth, now growing, still. luckily i haven undergo e surgery yet.

jazzed it up at 11:57:00 PM.
11:57:00 PM

i hate fever, darn dizzy headache. damn the pills, chewy red, yucks. i think the docs are tryin t kill me.

jazzed it up at 5:40:00 AM.
5:40:00 AM

my feeling was alright.
then it got
="(((( by my family
then gotten
=) by a surprised visit.
but alittle
=[ becos of the distance between, that's so damn obvious.

jazzed it up at 2:10:00 AM.
2:10:00 AM

the tall heels were killing my feet. now my left heel's pain. agrr.. extremely!

bye i'm off to bath.
nights.

jazzed it up at 6:05:00 AM.
6:05:00 AM

drowned down afew shots, had crabs and some delicious food whipped up by my godmama and my ahmama. cos today's dear cous jackson lam's 22th birthday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUDE!
please b more mature than me. hahas.. glad that u'r alrights with mummy already.
=)
alrights alrights. i went t tons of places today, due t the many wrong directions. hahas..
nights.

jazzed it up at 12:51:00 AM.
12:51:00 AM

went t see my darling evan at the hospital today.
omg. damn that bastard!
he brought her down to.. i'v no idea what could describe that. but it pains me n caused me t tear when i saw her that upset. damn. i'm feeling so guilty towards her, i thot he's e one for her. i thot i could leave her in his care..
now, i only wished for him t let her down slowly if he wants t let her down, but not t drop her like a hot potato. not throwing her off that great height, that's beyond pain.
hais.

jazzed it up at 3:25:00 AM.
3:25:00 AM

i just came back from malaysia. i don't really like goin there often, cos it would increase e risk of being recognised by anyone thr. n yes, today we went t JUSCO n a group of ppl regognised me, luckily i was walkin alone around at that time. anyways anyways,

!!HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

jazzed it up at 1:20:00 AM.
1:20:00 AM

i caught this movie today, ermmms.. i know the movie was supposed t start at at 2.05 but i was really really late for it. really sorry guo xin. u are one nice guy who's always making me feel utterly guilty. =(

anyways, i've gotten my sewing machine!! at last! damn it. i'm so happy! my dearest dad's the ultimate sweetest guy, i'm so glad for him.

hmmm.. i got into trouble with my mom, thou this's no surprise, but stil, i couldn get outta e house for afew days, cos i went far beyond the beyond already. so sorry ppl if i cant get out. yupps..

jazzed it up at 11:51:00 PM.
11:51:00 PM

one of my gfs's having prb, one prb that we so often see.
so when i was asked t voice my opinion, i said, give him a chance t come up with solutions o whatever. i said, giv him e chance, even thou he might choose t hurt u o make e same mistake again.
bcos if he hurts u again, u can really forget abt him already. at least u hav sth t account t urself that u gave him e chance b4, he jus didn make use of it.

however, most of e time, when e most ppl(those who were given e chance) didn make use of the chance, n were no longer given another chance. they will blame those who gave them the chance, they will blame them, sayin that one chance isnt enough.. blah blah.. so they rather make use of the chance t hurt again, instead of changin at least a little for the better??.. whatever, actually, they wont even rembr e chance once given.

jazzed it up at 2:18:00 PM.
2:18:00 PM

thou meetings are short, but i'm still happy for those meetings, catching up with my lovelies.
=)
thanks everyone for the presents.
=)

hmmm... my dad wants t buy me a sewing machine. omg, i wanted so much t scream with joy. but cool, i kept it cool. hahas.. but my dad was tryin very hard t keep his laughter when he saw me struggling not to be so excited about it. so embarrassing. ahahas.. so i need t go n find, see see look look for the best suitable for me. heex..

hmmm.. i'm gonna save $$ t get my dad a shaver, he lost his when we moved hus. yuppps..

anyways, merry christmas and a happy new year!

p.s. if e way i replied msg o i sprouted nonsense when u guys called me last night o morning. ermmm.. sorry. hahahs.. was alittle on e high side.

jazzed it up at 1:57:00 PM.
1:57:00 PM

i drove my mom's car last night for the 1st time,
its was difficult, the wheel was heavy. n my parents commented that my speed was fast.
i still prefer gettin chaufeured then driving myself.

..anyways, thanks for tryin t make me down when i'm at last tryin t feel better. i guess u couldnt tolerate others tryin t make themselves feel better. so this is what u called friendship? u can hate me or blame me for these whatever happenings, if that would make u feel better, i don't give a damn care. its ur own life, if u wanna end it, do it. u have only yourself t account t, n ur family who cares for u.

jazzed it up at 6:38:00 PM.
6:38:00 PM

i am high high high.. on diesel? hahas.. Whatever.. jus HIGH!! major one!
hahas.. i've gotten my driving license. lulalalu.
hahas.. at last its over, OVER!! oh yea. its a nice christmas present i've gotten for myself.
anyway ANYWAYS! i'm feeling so happy these few days, thou thr's nth much. but many little things r makin me happy.
=) heex..

be happy people!

jazzed it up at 3:34:00 AM.
3:34:00 AM

lightning thunder lightning thunder. i hate them!! **growls!! they are major scary ones.

anyways, elicia, my baby cousin's family just moved to sengkang too. hahas.. now i could always see her when i'm free. she was so sweet that day i went t her place.
=)

today i went t my godmom's place. but before that, i went for driving practical. i was waitin at the bus-stop out ssdc afr the lesson for my ride. then i saw 2 little kittens thr. i hate cats, i loathe them, i'm scared of them. but.. they were real pitiful, someone put them into a small plastic bag n threw them thr. 1 of them dropped t the floor, wet. the other was struggling t get out of the bag, thr was cat's poo ard the bag. those kittens i usually see are always leaping around, but they were e 1st ones which i saw, moving only when they r shivering. i called SPCA 1st, they said, they would most prbly put them t sleep, so they advised me t put them in any box i could find, n leave it at e busstop or police station, n pray for some kind souls t take them in.

in e end, i brought them t my godmom's place, cleaned them n fed some milk with e help of my "helpful" little cousins, n brought them t e estate wher thr r many people taking in of strays. yupps.. cos i was quite allergic t cats, thrfore my face n arms were red with rashes. so when i came back frm leaving them, my aunts thot i cried when i left them. hahas.. cos i'm always like that when i see any poor animals or what so ever. hahas..
hmmm.. a few mins afr i reached, my older cousin brought a pup from the pets shop downstairs, someone bought her daughter a pup as a present. hahas..
it was really friendly, that it licked the whole of my legs n arms n face. hahas..

anyways, nth much. tv tv now..

jazzed it up at 9:30:00 PM.
9:30:00 PM

jus came back from the dentist.
new news, i CAN can pluck only 8 teeth, IF ONLY i pull my lower jaw out. its the process of slicing the jaw at e back n pulling of jaw in e braces process.
so if i dont do that, then ermmm.. 11 teeth has to b plucked. understand? not removing of jaw! hahas..
k. ciao. goin out for awhile.

jazzed it up at 3:30:00 PM.
3:30:00 PM

call me an escapee, i don't care, becos i am one for this prb. i am not usually someone to escape, but this time round i don't think e prb lies with me. its not my problem in the 1st place, the only prb was that i was being the nosy busybody. i don't want t be bothered abt it already. i am really sorry to jessica to having to make her go thru this, n now i am leaving her behind. sorry to stanley, jus sorry.

i'm back to my early morning daily dose of the healthy family drink, Yakult, with a bowl of honey stars ( sometimes with nutella or milk.) and also with my daily dose of healthy gossip.
=)

i am going to be busy with mugging for common test, so won't b online so often, not as if i'm always online too.


p.s. can those who has my blog link to remove them off your blogsite? cos i prefer my blog to b readable to those who has my link in the 1st place. yes. thanks.

jazzed it up at 11:59:00 AM.
11:59:00 AM

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents, beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.
The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?Take the Test to Find Out.

jazzed it up at 3:42:00 PM.
3:42:00 PM

to m.
if u know this is going to happen n u still let it happen, dont blame anyone but yourself.

i know i often do things when i already know of the bad outcome. i can only blame myself when that happen. but sometimes, the process is what i want, i dont mind the outcome.

jazzed it up at 3:03:00 PM.
3:03:00 PM

to stanley:

1. u are like a big brother to me, someone whom, i know would always be thr for me when i have problems.

2. i can understand when u mean getting jealous, i would, used t, get jealous too when my best friend, felicia's close to other ppl. but it doesnt affect me already, bcos i know, despite the many other close friends or friends she has, i know she has never forgotten abt my presence n we would try t catch up when we have even the tinist slightest free time.

3. u may say i dont always share e things i tell t jess only. but u hav t understand, different ppl has different personally, style or whatever, that = t say that not everyone can b shared of the same stuffs. 1 example: some girls stuffs can b shared b/w the girls. but i would sometimes tell u abt them too.
or sometimes, i didnt even tell jess abt a thing on purpose, it may b a comment on a spur of the moment, example: walked past a short guy, commented"that guy is so short", n that same guy walks past us at another day, then both jess n would look at each other n rembr that comment n laugh or what.
THIS is NOT called keeping things from u. do i hav t always rembr all my comments that i made within a day n then report t u?
n i do not even tell evan or fish or jialu everything.

4. 1 single person does NOT necessarily has t hav only 1 or 2 close friends. i do not hav only u n jess, i hav fish jialu evan. n i hav many other friends like kaishing n yuan who can make me laugh. is it that that can make u jealous abt? what do u want me t do?
someone who can make me laugh n can talk t me abt everything, n i hav t tell him or her "sorry i 'v got too many close frens n ppl who can make me smile already, so please stay away frm me."? is that u want me t do?
i can fully understand if u say u r jealous once or twice, but too often, i would say u r selfish. i am so sorry if i'm hurting u with my words. but if we r close frens, we should b honest with each other. n i feel that i should hurt u now instead of in e future, i hate to push things off.

5. u may think i am not thinking for u, but rembr many things have got the positive n negative sides, but most of the time ppl can only see e negative side, its only when they r calm to think str that they can see the slightest positive side. then they hav t choose whenever they want to move on with e positive outlook or negative ones.
but positive isnt an easy path, so others may push themselves t learn t b stronger go on. its only those weakling losers who would give up n move down the negative route. u only hav 1 life in this life, r u gonna let urself down by pushing urself into e darkness of the world?

jazzed it up at 2:13:00 PM.
2:13:00 PM

i'm so fcuking-ly pissed right now.
i wanted t do the whole accounting report by myself, but my group mates want t do too. i was so happy when i heard tt, since i couldnt do e whole thing myself. so i did the 1st part already. then 1 of e guys said his gf graduated from business, therefore she's good at accounting, let her do all n asked the rest t sit back n receive e done report. fine. i received their "done" report today when i need to hand up tmor. nvm. e best part is she gave me all bullshit, bullshit, so much craps with none of them at all needed for the report. thanks alot. i'm so fcuked up that i feel like printing this entry out n hand up as my report.

jazzed it up at 10:42:00 PM.
10:42:00 PM

dad slept on my bed last night again, the sofa, so i had t sleep in e room. but anyways, i'm gonna hav e whole room t myself, its greattt!! i'm lovin it. cos my sisters arent gonna be home, n mom's outta town, what a great one!! but lab test tmor, this isnt nice one.

hmmm... i managed t scare someone with my BOO!! at last!! hahas.. twice t goh guo xin. hahahs.. its was really funny.
sorry t make u wait, hope u enjoyed my family's company. =)

hmmm... my aunt said those ppl in my family are either good at drinkin or gambling or both. hahas.. i dont gamble, cos i dont know how t, mel does. my mom said t her," u wan t learn, can.. but only learn t b e best gambler." wtf. hahas..
so i only drink. but my aunt does not approve of how me n mel drink. cos we take big gulps at each time, she said if we do this often, e next time we'll hav t drink more n plenty in order t get e kick. hmmm.. need t change..
then my dad jus mentioned on e car not t drink too much, cos 1 of my uncles drank too much n often that he hurt one of his veins, n now he walkin with a walkin stick. he stil quite young. omg.. i cant imagine myself with a walkin stick..

ciao.

jazzed it up at 10:49:00 PM.
10:49:00 PM

thank you mr goh guo xin for helping me to find a new template.
=)
thou its not really what i want, but i think its definitely better than the old one.
thankyou!

jazzed it up at 8:27:00 PM.
8:27:00 PM

-we r jus so like fake frens now. n i dont like it. jus end this relationship between us alrights? please dont run away from the problem whenever i bring it up.

anyways, attended 2nd of the 3 sisters 's wedding ytd. it was BEAUTIFUL! i so wanted t cry. its like jus not so long ago when i always cried t go t their hus t hang out n work. they gave me my beautiful english name. its so fast so fast. the 1st sister jus got married, n it was e 2nd ytd, 3rd's time coming, n 4th bro's one. n its mine. i so dont wanna grow up n lose e so much love they once showered on me.. its scary, despite how much effort i'v put in t learn abt life, it's stil scaring me.

jazzed it up at 6:50:00 PM.
6:50:00 PM

i didn keep to my words, i went to the hospital ytd t scold him, at last, he was willing to leave that place. this isnt e matt i knew. hais.. why hav things come to this end? but i was glad that yuan brought me to the sushi making class. its was quite fun. causing me t smile t whole time there. hahas.. thank you yuan!

i jus hope that ABCs can communicate things better than using the mere ABCs.

jazzed it up at 11:48:00 AM.
11:48:00 AM

i dont know t say i am sorry or that u really deserved it. hais. sorry but i still wont go n visit u at e hospital. bcos i know u always think u will hav your way. but u know me, i will giv when i think it is right. this time round, .. we'v known each other for years n more years. i thot u would hav changed. but u didn. u'r still of the same. wells, i think u shouldnt change at all, u should find someone who could tolerate or love u for u, and wont make u change.

jazzed it up at 8:26:00 PM.
8:26:00 PM

so many things to say, but too lazy to type all. hmmm..
1 major thing thou,
he was a flirt, he is a flirt. what t expect. its hard t change. its dumb of me t think that he changed, or whatever. what a flirter. t think that i knew nuts when i was about t get together wit him, he was at it too when we were quite close. too bad guy, 1 of those victims is my fren, another 1 is my ahbeng cousin's fren. wah. wish u best my dear. please do not expect me t give u a genuine smile. i could no longer do it.

happier note, i'm recovering. but jessica is ill now. hahas..
jess, really sorry.

jazzed it up at 2:00:00 AM.
2:00:00 AM

BURN BABY BURN.

i'm feeling so great now compared to the past days.

THANK YOU JESSICA FOR THE FISH PORRIDGE YOU BROUGHT TO ME!!
YOU ARE ABSOLUTE SWEETEST. i am sorry to make u worry by cryin to you. hahas.. emotional.
stan, sorry to make u worry too.

I'm so glad that i'm no longer HOT, [ hahas.. yuan yik]. but my throat still strained with blood. yupps..

afr this incident, i'v known really, friends r so much better than family. family are jus the ones waitin for u to go, so u do not hav to fight for parents cash and all. fcuk it. but dad was sweet too. so i removed my nail polish off my toes to repay him. muahahas.. that was what he wanted so badly. but thankfully he wants me to do it. cos my nails are yellow. think i'v painted too many times already. so i'm so going to NOT paint it already. alrights.. not that often. yupps. hahas..

oh jess n stan, thank you! muacks!! i will b e irritating one once again. muahahas..
thank you! =)

jazzed it up at 6:32:00 AM.
6:32:00 AM

i dressed like a construction worker to school today. hahas..
hmmm.. i was supposed to go to malaysia with my family jus now, but i fell asleep, so we didn go in e end. hahas.. wasted.
bored. till laters.

jazzed it up at 9:46:00 PM.
9:46:00 PM

guys with perky butts are sexy. but THOMSON is not, because he is a potential wanna-be ah beng construction worker. hahas..

my cousin who jus bcame an insurance agent is at my hus right now. i showed him all the policies, n he asked me so many questions of those i have no answer to. omg. hahas.. i need to find my consultant like right now, but i think he is serving whatever overseas now. damn.

wells.. its been like so so so long since we laughed n chatted like that. i guessed we both grew out of the awkward-ness already. hahas.. idiot guy.

jazzed it up at 9:39:00 PM.
9:39:00 PM

just when i am unable to go with the flow, out of it, everyone elses are able to. and i'm left behind.
i am getting bitchy these days, wondering whether itis because its that time of the month or cos of influences. i bitch about this one good friend of mine. i am disappointed by this fact. but i cant help it, because i will get so irritated by their behaviour.
sheralyn, dont worry. i didnt spill out any of your secrets.

i just hope to go back with the flow, be that patient one.
i want to be myself again.

jazzed it up at 9:19:00 PM.
9:19:00 PM

yuan yik is one awesome guy! he's the greatest nicest guy!. my report is totally impossible without him!
thank you so so so so(x 99999999999999999999999...) much!!!!!
my saviour.

jazzed it up at 11:20:00 PM.
11:20:00 PM

omg. singapore singapore!! thr r just so many sicko ah peks here! today, thr's another one doing it again on the bus. i was jus too afraid that i couldnt think of anything but just squeezed past him n went to the front to sit. i'm ok already, i guess. think it happened jus too many times to me that i'v became kinda immune already. but really, singapore. if singapore's the safest place, then how dangerous can the most dangerous place be? damn it singapore.

jazzed it up at 9:46:00 PM.
9:46:00 PM

**growls.. the report's killing me! i'm still short of the summary. damn. agrr!!
i'm so needing the familiar massage right now. this is like the longest period of time in front of the com. neck aches now. i need a tummy rub too. agrrr!! still a little girl. :P

jazzed it up at 2:36:00 AM.
2:36:00 AM

didn go with them to the temporary hus cos i took too long to bathe. but i was at my fastest spped already. agrr.. nvm, anyways i helped them packed all ytd already. do ur stuffs urself.

so iwas thinking of these models,
nokia of cos, my mom's workin thr
6288, 5300, 7390 [ powder pink]

jazzed it up at 11:20:00 AM.
11:20:00 AM

jus came back from the mediacorp radio y.e.s 93.3fm's chinese music awards thingy. it started late. but the songs are nice, quite entertaining.
when we left, i led mel to the wrong place. so we had to walk major big rounds to get to the station. in e end, we'd to take cab, n the uncle was like.. but its so near..
hahas..
walkin at night is real nice cos of the cool air, i didn hav to sweat too. hahahs.. hmmm..
then we got mac, ate like hungry animals, bath rush and now.. off to sleep. tired.

oh, my phone's lost, ard in the house, but i'm too tired to find it right now. tmor stil hav got to go back to the temporary hus to move the stuffs, my family has got so many stuffs, not mine, duh.. they'r so so so messy, growls.. packin up afr them is so not what i'm supposed to do, not my things. hmph.
anyways, nights everyone.

jazzed it up at 3:54:00 AM.
3:54:00 AM

" you are always receiving alot of love care concern, and many other good things, that you will not notice when others give you more, n will only take notice when they give you less. "
true, reality hit real hard.
thanks.

hmmm... i met up with evan shermaine n shirley today, thou its only for awhile, but i had fun bcos its e best day of these few upseting weeks i had. my pri, sacss, chij classmates n school-mate. life is weird, destiny n fate are real weird stuffs. unbelievable. hahas..

jazzed it up at 11:37:00 PM.
11:37:00 PM

lookin at the past letters, messages n all. all sweetness and concern. that's real nice n comforting.
how i could ever thot that they meant nothing at the point when i used to read them? now i'm feeling all those anxiety, feelings that that person felt while writin those msges.
guess its all my fault for pushing away those i shouldn push away, n holding onto those who would hurt me so.
i'm having so so much mixed feelings on whether to gamble again by forgeting n doing them once more again. but i'v taken so many so many so many gambles like this before, to have only hurt in return.
but i guess even if i have a chance to change, i would not change any single bit. because, its just fate, it will happen sooner or later. and lessons hav to learnt too.

[
to the one who taught me many, who saved me, who showed me light:
u hav gave me beautiful things of life, thou u may have went away, leaving me stranded in a world without u, but i'm still thankful for the once beautiful stuffs.
really thank you, ames. the moon, that signature.
]
[
to the one nice guy:
something that i'v kept in for so long: not that i didn see those feelings coming, just that i see no future. so i'm acting nonchalant about all that u'v done. but in actual, feelings had been stirred, thus confused.
thou it may seem like i don't care, but i'v sth to say, which's, everytime u feel so terrible afr u drink, n all, n u want me to b thr. i would just so rush down to ur place n wait for u at e void, hopefully that i could help u when u need me. but i didn dare to mention this, afraid of the consequence. so i jus kept quiet. i may act like i dont give a damn crap about e things u'v done or given, but in actual fact, i do.. i still seriously cant see a future.
but still, i've always wanted to say," swthrt, i m sorry. "

but i guess he wont be reading this. whadsdause.
]
[
to sheralyn:
i'm sorry, thou things may change,
but heys, wish u n ur bf happiness always. hold onto your happiness alrights?
]

jazzed it up at 10:03:00 PM.
10:03:00 PM

i was really disappointed to being angry.
i was close to tears jus now cos i was really really scared of doin as bad as last night. well i failed anyways.
what upsetted me was that, i thought ive friends, thou not all are my really friend friends, but i thot i had at least a few that close friends whom i could really depend on when i really needed them. guess i am not as important as their crushes, bf, or gf. sod best friends and good friends. i'v really extreme no trust in this kind of bullshits already. this time round i'm not giving a damn fcuking concern to these shit friendships, except jessica koh ming li. you arse-holes could just come to me yourselves, i'm no longer gonna be the one to make the 1st move, i'm no longer gonna make any move to make an effort to continue those so-called friendships. because i am sick of those disappointments already.

jess, really thank you for being there. really thank you, so much so much.

jazzed it up at 6:29:00 PM.
6:29:00 PM

i'm in so such a foul mood, i want to change my phone, but i dont know what to get.
that's e least.
what's more irritating is that today was the worse, i mean the worse of the worse practical ever.
i dont think i'm able to pass tomor. i did so many immediate failures. damn. i so wanted to cry but i pushed it off to e end of the lesson.
my instructor said about i'm not really good at night driving, asked me to sleep early n not to think so much. hais. how to not to think much? i hav extreme high expectations for myself when i know i can do well for doin well at something.
but my dad gave the best comforting words. "pass then pass, fail then fail.." its direct n true. i love it. hais. pray hard for tmor then.

thanks for your concerns, it helped alot thou u guys may not think so.

jazzed it up at 11:58:00 PM.
11:58:00 PM

went for that interview. hmmm.. its no longer for those collectable figurings. but nevermind, those stuffs are cute anyways.

n... i saw someone i havent meet for 2 or 3 or 4 yrs. hahas.. i'm bad at that.
anyways anyways. he's still lookin as hot. shining both from the inside n outside. hahas.. i'v got total stunned. ok. hahas.. get a grip my dear self.
hmmm.. he was once my very closed acquaintance. ermmm.. not close to being those friends kind. but nevertheless, he's one great guy.
but.. boo hoo hoo. he cant seem to rembr me!

hais. sad case. nights.
still.. =D
go with the flow people!

jazzed it up at 11:22:00 PM.
11:22:00 PM

A new blog for a new start.
=)

jazzed it up at 11:46:00 AM.
11:46:00 AM